Operation: DRAMA
by ThuhJesheekuh
Summary: Dramatic Representation Always Menaces Adults Sector V's English teacher organizes a school play, casting the kids and their friends. But adult attacks on the play makes them think that, to thwart adult plans, the show MUST go on! Status: Retired.
1. Prologue

Whee! Guess who just jumped off the deep-end into KND obsession? If you guessed Kathy Selden, you're probably wrong. If you guessed Selphie Louise, then you're very much correct! As such, I am now here to deliver my newest fanfiction and my debut in the KND community! Intro Operation: D.R.A.M.A.! 

Pre-notes: In prior stories of mine I chose to have uber loads of fun playing with character accents. However in this story, especially in the case of Numbuh Four, who, as we all know, has a very thick Australian accent, I've declined to do so. The reason for this is that Australian is too similar to American English. Also in my previous stories, the characters with accents were Ocs. If you're reading this story, I'm going to assume that you know who the characters are and what they sound like, so I'm sure you can imagine what they sound like.

Disclaimer: I do not own Codename: Kids Next Door or it's wonderful characters. They are the property of Mr. Warburton and Curious Pictures.

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Operation: D.R.A.M.A. 

Dopey

Romeo

Admits

More

Affection

Prologue

"Kids Next Door… Battle stations!"

"Numbuh Five! Ready!" answered a cool black girl.

Kids Next Door Operative Numbuh Five sat behind the launch panel of a F.L.I.B.I.K.E. (Funky Launcher Is Best In Katching Enemies). Her real name was Abigail Lincoln, though she preferred Numbuh Five or, if absolutely necessary, Abby. She was also known as "The Quiet One" for her stealth abilities and expertise in espionage. With long black hair in a single braid hidden under a red cap, she wore a dark blue t-shirt, oversized so that her shorts were hidden.

"Numbuh Four! Ready!" called a tough Australian boy.

Kids Next Door Operative Numbuh Four operated the controls for a M.O.P.E.D. (Motor-vehicle Outruns Pansy Enemy Doofuses). Wallabee Beetles, or Wally, or, if a person didn't want to get the daylights knocked out of them, Numbuh Four. This knack for hand-to-hand combat earned him the title of "The Tough Kid" …despite his diminutive stature. Blue jeans, topped by an orange hoodie protected his body while his blonde hair protected, or possibly impeded, his eyes.

"Numbuh Three! Ready!" added a charming Japanese girl.

Kids Next Door Operative Numbuh Three rode up in the passenger seat of the M.O.P.E.D. Kuki Sanban, Numbuh Three to her teammates, specialized in diversionary tactics; specialized as in she could do so without trying or even realizing it. The title "The Flirt" probably came from her preferred method: dancing frivolously with her long shiny black hair waving freely behind her. Her green sweatshirt over her black pants was huge, its sleeves of which were so long that one rarely saw her hands.

"Numbuh Two! Ready!" replied a stout geeky boy.

Kids Next Door Operative Numbuh Two busied himself piloting the F.L.I.B.I.K.E. Hoagie P. Gilligan Jr., better known as Numbuh Two, was a genius of the Kids Next Door's infamous two by four technology. Each of the mechanical wonders that the team of Sector V used was of his invention. However, his outstanding ability also labeled him a geek, "The Doofus." He wore brown pants and a light blue short-sleeved shirt and, to accent his love of aeronautics, he was never seen without his pilot's cap or yellow goggles.

"Numbuh One! Ready!" shouted a capable British boy.

Kids Next Door Operative Numbuh One slapped a few tools to his belt. Nigel Uno, a.k.a. Numbuh One, devised the strategy for each mission. Officially "The Leader," his over the top plans often failed to meet their original objectives, but, overall, mostly succeeded in the long run. Wearing a red sweater and khaki shorts, Numbuh One employed shiny black sunglasses, possibly to compensate for the lack of hair on the rest of his head.

"Operatives, go!" Numbuh One shouted, hopping into a small compartment at the bottom of the craft.

"Roger, Numbuh One," Numbuh Two replied. He pressed a few buttons and turned a few knobs, expertly guiding the vehicle out of the suburbs into town, finding the main thoroughfare.

Below them, Numbuhs Three and Four tore down the street in the direction of Main Street. "Numbuh Four ta Numbuh Two," Numbuh Four spoke into the radio with his distinct Australian accent. "Can you see the target?"

"I've got it on radar, Numbuh Four. Hold on a sec'," Numbuh Two answered. He punched a few buttons and the picture appeared on the screen in front of Numbuh Three.

"Are we gettin' close, Numbuh Three?" Numbuh Four asked.

"Hmm… now that's strange," Numbuh Three said, poking her finger at the screen in front of her.

"What's strange?" Numbuh Four asked.

"I thought _we _were supposed to follow the delivery truck," Numbuh Three replied, looking at him confusedly.

"What?" Numbuh Four repeated, leaning over and looking at the screen. Behind their dot was another larger dot that was their target. The two glanced at each other before turning their heads and looking behind them. A large CPS truck was coming up on their rear, honking its loud horn. Each screamed as Numbuh Four made a hard right into the sidewalk to avoid collision as the truck zoomed past. The M.O.P.E.D. hit a streetlamp and split in two.

"Numbuh Three! Numbuh Four!" Numbuh Two shouted when he saw their crash.

"Hold steady, Numbuh Two! We have to complete the mission!" Numbuh One ordered.

"Numbuh One, the truck's drivin' at a high speed. We needed Numbuh Three and Numbuh Four to create a distraction," Numbuh Five reported.

"Then we'll just have to kick it into high gear," Numbuh One said. "Numbuh Two! Engage hyperactive hyper drive!

"You got it, Numbuh One!" Numbuh Two answered. He clenched his fist around a red lever and thrust it forward. Immediately the F.L.I.B.I.K.E. boosted into high speed and flew through the air. "Wahoo!" Numbuh Two yelled as they whizzed through the air over the town. In no time the target came into their sights.

"All right. Numbuh Five, prepare for launch," Numbuh One instructed.

"You got it, chief," Numbuh Five replied, pressing a few buttons before leaping out of her seat and dropping into a compartment next to Numbuh One's. A few seconds later, the two operatives were fired from two cannons on the F.L.I.B.I.K.E.'s underside and flew toward the truck. Two thuds were heard when they made contact with the truck, grabbing on with a suction cup on each hand.

"What the…?" the driver wondered aloud at the sound, turning to look out his driver side mirror. There he saw Numbuh Five holding onto the corner of the truck. "Kids! What are they doing?" He grabbed his radio. "This is CPS 379 to pick-up station, I've got a couple of kids on my tail. Requesting back up, over."

"Pick-up station to CPS 379, we've locked on your location and are sending back up, over," answered a woman's voice on the radio.

"CPS 379 to pick-up station, shall I alter my route, over?"

"Pick-up station to CPS 379, affirmative. Do not, I repeat, do not allow those kids to intercept the parcel, over."

"CPS 379, out." The truck driver grit his teeth and clutched the steering wheel, making a hard left turn just before approaching Gallagher Elementary School.

"Whoa!" Numbuh 5 exclaimed as she was almost tossed from the truck, but managed to hold on. "Dang! Suckuh knows we're on here!"

"And he's changed his course," Numbuh One observed. "He'll have sent for back-up, so we need to move quickly." They each pulled out a L.A.S.E.R. (Little Arms Saw-through Enemy Rear) and pulled the trigger. About ten tiny arms with various cutting utensils attached to the L.A.S.E.R. started whirring and pressed against the backdoor to the CPS truck. The gizmos began cutting through the metal. "This door is steel-plated, but the L.A.S.E.R. should do the job. Ouch!"

Suddenly an envelope came flying at Numbuh One and cut his hand, causing him to drop the L.A.S.E.R. "What was- Yeow!" Numbuh Five cried out in surprise as an envelope hit her hand as well, leaving them both L.A.S.E.R.less. "We're under attack!" There were three more delivery trucks behind them, the nearest of which was firing mail at the operatives.

"Numbuh Two, we need help!" Numbuh One called into the communicator pinned to his collar.

A few seconds later, Numbuh Two responded, "I'm on it, Numbuh One." Above, Numbuh Two in the F.L.I.B.I.K.E. maneuvered over the street trying to lock onto the trucks. "Almost…. Locked on target! Fire!" He pressed the triggers, and the cannons at the front of the ship began to discharge-.

"Doggy bones?" Numbuh 5 wondered aloud.

Within a mile-radius of the chase scene, the noses of dogs perked up and tongues were flung from their canine mouths as they gave chase for the beefy treats. When they had reached the scene, every pug, poodle, and beagle caught sight of the delivery truck; mouths foamed and hackles raised.

"Take that, stupid kids! Don't you know tampering with the mail is a federal offense!" one of the pursuing CPS truck drivers laughed as he fired postcards and bills at Numbuhs One and Five. Suddenly he found doggy bones were raining on his truck. "What's this?" he asked, reaching out his window to catch one. When he saw the dogs gaining ground on him, his eyes widened. "No! Not the dogs!" He began madly steering the truck around to evade the rabid pets, but to no avail. The dogs caught up, leaping in through his open windows and causing him to run off the road.

"Nice job, Numbuh Two!" Numbuh One complimented.

"That's one down and two to- wah! Hey!" Numbuh Two exclaimed. One of the two remaining CPS trucks had unleashed a barrage of letters on the F.L.I.B.I.K.E. "Commencing evasive action," he declared, dodging the attacks. "Haha! Losers!" Then a cannon appeared on the top of the truck and fired at him. "A brown paper package? If it's tied up in strings, it's one of my favorite things!" Numbuh Two laughed. However, the package landed on the windshield, a small timer visible on the side of the box. "What's-? Oh, no!" The timer hit zero and the package exploded.

"Waaaaah!" Numbuh 2 screamed as the F.L.I.B.I.K.E. went soaring through the air. Numbuh Two ejected from the vehicle and floated down underneath a parachute in the distance.

"Numbuh Two!" Numbuh Five called. "Now what, Numbuh One? Do we abort the mission?"

"Negative, Numbuh Five. We have to stop this delivery!" Numbuh One answered. The cannon on the CPS truck turned around and aimed at them.

"Um, Numbuh Five recalls a saying something on the lines of, 'you can't win 'em all,'" Numbuh Five responded.

"Words of wisdom to be sure," Numbuh One changed his tone, readying himself to jump from the truck.

"Don't give up just yet!" Numbuh One's eyes widened as he heard Numbuh Four's voice over his communicator. He looked up and spotted a soda bomb missile come up behind one of the trucks. A few seconds later the truck burst into flames and swerved off the road.

"Numbuh Four?" he asked.

"Hi, Numbuh One!" Numbuh Three greeted. Numbuh One looked down the road behind them and saw Numbuh Three balanced on the back of the remaining half of the M.O.P.E.D. as Numbuh Four steered it down the street, quickly gaining ground on the remaining CPS truck.

"Well, whaddaya know?" Numbuh Five grinned.

"Numbuh Four, we've lost our L.A.S.E.R.s. Did any of your weapons survive the crash?" Numbuh One asked.

"We don't have any weapons, Numbuh One," Numbuh Four answered. "That was our last missile."

"Don't worry, Numbuh One! I've got a plan!" Numbuh Three added.

"You- Numbuh Three what are you planning?" Numbuh One asked.

"Relax, Numbuh One. Just you and Numbuh Five climb up on top of the truck," Numbuh Four instructed.

"Over and out!" Numbuh Three finished.

"Wait, Numbuh Three!" Numbuh One exclaimed, but the signal cut out. He looked over at Numbuh Five.

"Numbuh Five thinks whatever they're planning, we should probably climb on up there anyway," she said.

"Right," Numbuh One agreed.

"All right, you ready, Numbuh Three?" Numbuh Four asked.

"Ready!" she answered. Numbuh Four steered the M.O.P.E.D. over to the right side of the truck.

"Okay, let's do this," he said. Numbuh Three stepped up onto his shoulders, and when she was stable Numbuh Four balanced himself and cupped his hands in front of his face. Then Numbuh Three placed her foot in his palm. "One, two."

"Three!" Numbuh Three finished, and Numbuh Four tossed her up. Numbuh Three flew through the air for a moment before landing on top of the CPS truck. Once she found her footing, Numbuh Three turned to look at the cannon that had fired the bomb at Numbuh Two. There was, as she and Numbuh Four had hoped, a camera on top of it so that the driver could see his target. "Oh, Mr. Mailman!" she called to it. The camera turned in her direction. "Look at me! I'm on top of your truck and trying to help my friends!" she taunted it.

The cannon finally turned and aimed at her, firing a smaller package bomb. Numbuh Three dodged its first shot and moved to the other side of the truck. "Ooh, you're gonna have to do better than that if you wanna get rid of my friends and me!" she goaded it. The cannon fired again and again, but Numbuh Three dodged it, finally moving to the front of the truck. "Come on! You gotta do better than that!" she mocked, glancing back over her shoulder to be sure that Numbuhs One and Five had made it to the top of their truck and that she was in the right position. "Come on, hit me!" she demanded of the cannon.

The cannon obeyed and fired another small explosive at her. Numbuh Three sidestepped it once again, but this time the bomb flew forward at the delivery truck in front of them, the one with their target. Upon impact with the back of the truck, the bomb combusted, blowing out the door. Numbuhs One and Five caught their balance again and realized the door was gone. "Excellent work, Numbuh Three!" Numbuh One called before he and Numbuh Five climbed into the back of the truck to retrieve their objective. "There it is!" Numbuh One pointed to a crate in the corner of the truck. Numbuh Five went forward and took hold of the carton, bringing it back to Numbuh One and the back door. "Nicely done, team. Mission accomplished," Numbuh One declared. "Let's go, Numbuh Five!"

"You got it, chief," she answered as they each pulled out a grappling hook from their belts. Spotting a streetlight, they launched the hooks and swung out of the truck by way of the lamppost.

"Yay!" Numbuh Three cheered from her position atop the truck as it passed by Numbuhs One and Five.

"All right! Come on back down, Numbuh Three!" Numbuh Four called.

"Okey-day!" Numbuh Three answered. She walked over to the side and prepared to jump back to the M.O.P.E.D. Looking up as they passed Hendrie Middle School, Numbuh Three laughed, "Lookit, Numbuh Four! There's our school!"

Inside the truck, the driver, disgusted, growled, "Stupid brats!" He looked up at the monitor from the cannon-camera and smirked when he saw Numbuh Three's distractedness. Suddenly he turned the wheel and made a hard right turn. Numbuh Four cried out as he slammed on the brakes of the M.O.P.E.D. to avoid a collision.

"Whoa! Aah!" Numbuh Three screamed as she flew off to the left side of the truck, falling off the edge.

"Gotcha!" the driver exclaimed, reaching out his window and grabbing her by the arm. He pulled her inside and threw her through a window in the back of the cab into the back of the truck.

"Numbuh Three!" Numbuh Four cried. He grit his teeth and started the M.O.P.E.D. up again, speeding after the truck.

"Hahahaha!" the driver laughed at his hostage. Numbuh Four appeared in the driver side mirror, gaining speed on him. "Oh, no you don't," the driver said, stepping down on the gas.

"Get back 'ere, you!" Numbuh Four shouted, increasing speed as well. Finally he caught up and pulled the M.O.P.E.D. up alongside the right side of the truck again. Carefully he stood up and, after balancing himself, leapt to the truck and opened the cab door, allowing the M.O.P.E.D. to topple to the street. "All right, you! Give back Numbuh Three!"

"What are you doing, you bratty kid? Get out of my truck!" the driver ordered.

"You invited me in here by kidnapping Numbuh Three! Now give her back!" Numbuh Four demanded, leaping on the truck driver, throwing his fists at him.

"Whoa! Get off of me!" the truck driver exclaimed, trying to throw Numbuh Four off of him. The truck swerved wildly about the street, and Numbuh Four's flailing hit several knobs and handles. "Watch what you're doing!" Finally the insanity in the cab made its way to a large red button, which, upon pressing, caused a voice to come over the radio.

"Self-destruct in twenty seconds. Nineteen. Eighteen."

"Oh, no! You stupid kid!" the driver exclaimed, shoving the door open and leaping out into the street.

"Oh, great!" Numbuh Four groaned. He yanked open the window to the back of the truck. "Numbuh Three! Hurry up and get out of there!" he called, reaching his arm inside. Numbuh Three grabbed his arm, and he pulled her through into the cab. Numbuh Four looked out the window and saw the driver sprawled over the pavement. "No jumping out of moving vehicles for us!" he declared, finding the emergency brake and giving it a good yank."

"Eleven. Ten. Nine."

The truck finally screeched to a stop. "Come on!" Numbuh Four grabbed Numbuh Three by the wrist and tugged her out the passenger door out to the street. About two seconds later, the two were flung to the ground as the truck exploded.

"Ow…" Numbuh Three mumbled, sitting up and rubbing her scraped up knees and hands. When Numbuh Four finally sat up again, she looked over and flung her arms around his neck. "Wally! You saved me!"

"Well, yeah," Numbuh Four answered, thrown by her use of his real name and blushing from her close proximity. "I wasn't about to let ya be kidnapped by the mailmen."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Numbuh Three squeezed harder and harder.

"Gah! Numbuh Three! My neck isn't indestructible!" He gasped for air, "Neither is my windpipe!"

"Oops. Sorry," Numbuh Three apologized, releasing him. Numbuh Four panted a few seconds, trying to get his lungs functioning again.

"You guys ready to go home?" They looked up to see Numbuhs One, Two, and Five in a M.O.S.Q.U.I.T.T.O.H. Numbuh Five dropped a ladder, and when Numbuhs Three and Four had climbed up, Numbuh Two flew them all back to the tree house. That evening they enjoyed a large fire in their hearth powered by that day's target: a case of new copies of _Romeo and Juliet_, intended to be delivered to the kids' middle school.

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Romeo and Juliet, eh? I wonder where this is going? Stay tuned to find out!


	2. Chapter 1

Ow! The sunburnededness… Nose… cheeks… scalp… it better be better before prom… Anyway, here is Chapter One, in which we view the kids of Sector V in their morning classes at Hendrie Middle School. That's right, middle school. I decided to set this in their seventh grade year. Good times. Anyways, here it is. Read on. 

Disclaimer: I do not own Codename: Kids Next Door or it's magnificent characters. They are the property of Mr. Warburton and Curious Pictures.

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Chapter 1

Thursday morning, Abby, Hoagie, and Wally sat at the back of the bus, riding to school. Abby sat with her back against the window, cushioning her head with her arms, hat down over her eyes siesta-style. Hoagie sat next to her with her feet propped up on his knees. Wally was in the bench across the aisle with a seat to himself, using his book bag as a pillow. Hoagie was the only one of them that was fully conscious, the other two being extremely exhausted from their mission the previous afternoon. The Kids Next Door had received an anonymous tip that their principal had ordered the case of _Romeo and Juliet_ scripts. Romance literature was considered a type R torture device, so the team intercepted the delivery. Hoagie's job had been, unarguably, the least exerting, so while the others were still trying to rest, he had nothing to do but review his English homework.

"Hoagie, y'all know you spent an hour on that thang last night. If it was gonna get any better, it would be there already," Abby said groggily.

"I just wanna be sure. I'm not good at English like you are. I'm a math and science person," Hoagie responded.

"Oh, just let me see the dang thing," Abby said, lifting her hat and reaching toward the paper.

"No! You can't read my homework!" Hoagie exclaimed.

"Oh, come on! It's a haiku! How complicated could it be?" Abby retorted, snatching the paper out of his hand and lifting it to her face. "Ascending through stars; Eluding spheres and comets; Martians quake in dread." Abby thought about it for a moment. "Thesaurus?"

"Thesaurus…" Hoagie replied dismally.

"Hoagie, Miss O'Dell don't care what you write, as long as you write it," Abby informed him, handing the paper back.

"Yeah, that lady's so spaced out, you could probably hand her your math homework and she'd think you were Frost," Wally put in blearily from across the aisle as he sat up, stretching as the school came into sight.

"Think you were who?" Hoagie asked.

"Robert Frost. Didn't you read that list of poets she gave us?" Abby posed.

"Uh, well, no. I was more preoccupied with the thesaurus," Hoagie answered, stuffing the paper back into his book bag.

"Aw, sheez," Abby commented. "Well, what I wanna know is how Mr. Marsupial over there knows who Robert Frost is," Abby shot a suspicious glance over at Wally.

"Hey, I read the list," Wally answered indignantly, standing up when the bus had come to a stop.

Abby made a horror-struck face and clutched at her chest. "No! It can't be possible! Wallabee Beatles doing homework?" she gasped. Then she and Hoagie started laughing as Wally's face flushed pink.

"Yeah, yeah," he said stiffly, trying to mask his discomfiture. "Well, how d'you think I got into your class, Abby?" He grabbed his backpack and started down the aisle after all the other kids.

"I don't know. It still baffles me," Abby responded to Hoagie, taking her feet off his knees and standing up. "That boy used to the stupidest child on Earth, and now he's in half my classes."

"It's a mystery," Hoagie agreed, as the two exited the bus.

Wally stood at his locker, digging his math book from its back corner. A couple of years ago, he wouldn't have given a crud about math, English, history, or any of it. However, a couple of years ago he'd had a close call and just barely avoided failing. One of the most unlikely rules of the Kids Next Door was that all operatives must maintain their grades above passing. It was an obscure policy, but its stance was that kids of such low intelligence could not reason efficiently enough to think on their feet or operate the two by four technology.

Wally didn't find out about this rule until the third quarter of fifth grade. Embarrassed and scared, the only people he confided in were Nigel and Kuki- Nigel for his willingness to teach and Kuki for her undying optimism… which she actually almost did lose when she found out Wally might not go to school or on missions with her anymore. The three of them pulled together to make sure that Wally passed, and when he got sent to summer school, the team guarded the location to make sure the Delightful Children from Down the Lane and any other villains could not interfere with the studies of the kids there, although Wally's presence there was kept secret from Hoagie and Abby.

Since that narrow escape, Wally had taken extra care to keep his grades up. If he'd been held back in fifth grade, Wally would have been suspended from the Kids Next Door for eighteen weeks, and if his grades still hadn't improved… He'd been decommissioned early before. He didn't want to go through it again… permanently.

"Hey, Wally," he was greeted from the other side of the locker door.

"Oh, hey, Kuki," he answered, closing the door. His eyes widened, and he laughed when he saw Nigel on the other side. "Oh, sorry, mate. Hard to tell your voice from the girls lately."

Nigel scowled, "Hmph. I just can't wait until your and Hoagie's voices start changing."

"Hey, don't blame me just because you sound like a girl," Wally responded. "Speaking of girls, where's yours?"

"Oh, Lizzie's home sick today. I stopped by her house this morning, but her mom told me she had the flu," Nigel replied as they started toward their math class.

"Right. Getting the homework for her like a good boyfriend?" Wally asked.

"Of course," Nigel answered. The bell rang just as they reached their classroom. Every student scrambled for his or her seat as the teacher, Ms. Hesse, closed the door.

"Everyone take out a sheet of paper, pencil, and calculator," she said, as she flipped off the light, moving to the overhead projector. By the time she'd reached it, the students had collected their materials. Ms. Hesse flipped on the projector, revealing a monster of a word problem. "Pop quiz. Begin."

The whole class made a loud collective groan, but put their pencils to paper. Wally wrote his name at the upper-right hand corner and, below that, the date: September 25, 2007. ((a/n: Unless Mr. Warburton releases anything to the contrary, we're going to assume that the kids are ten in 2005 and will be twelve in 2007. Granted, they've been ten since the show aired, but then the Rugrats were one for ten years and suddenly became eleven in 200-whatever.))

Third period rolled around. Miss O'Dell stood at the front of Kuki, Wally, and Abby's English class, with a book open on the podium before her. "'Violent socks; my feet were two fish made of wool; two long sharks; sea blue, shot through; by one golden thread; two immense blackbirds; two cannons,'" she read. "'My feet were honored in this way; by these heavenly socks.'"

Abby leaned back in her seat, nearly dozing as she had on the bus that morning. Kuki sat behind her to the right, right behind Wally, doodling in her notebook. Wally was stationed right in front of her, to Abby's right, the only one of the three that could fake paying attention, though his mind was wandering quite a bit.

"'They were so handsome for the first time; my feet seemed to me unacceptable; like two decrepit firemen; firemen unworthy of that woven fire; of those glowing socks,'" Miss O'Dell recited overdramatically. The woman was a flaming nutcase by general consent, although by and large completely harmless. Her black hair was wispy and seemed as scattered as her every thought while her dark skin seemed to cling to her bones for dear life. Thick-rimmed rectangular spectacles balanced precariously on the slope of her nose.

When she had finished reading the poem, Miss O'Dell sighed exaggeratedly. "Oh, the socks… The socks, the socks, the socks!" she said. "Can anyone tell me what Neruda's 'Ode to My Socks' is about?" She looked about the room at all of the blank stares she was receiving. Flustered slightly, her gaze landed on Abby and she smiled. "Abigail!" she declared. "Would you like to make a guess?"

"Um… not really," Abby answered. There were a few snickers around the room.

"But if you had to, what would you guess?" Miss O'Dell inquired.

"Uh, socks?" Abby replied before the whole class erupted in laughter.

Miss O'Dell waited a moment before the class finally settled down. "Um, yes, it _is_ about socks. But, does anyone know the _deeper_ meaning?" she asked.

"Is it anything like the tomato he murdered?" one boy asked, causing the class to start laughing again.

"Well, yes and no," Miss O'Dell answered. "You see, 'Ode to My Socks' is actually-." A loud beep overhead cut her off.

"Miss O'Dell?" the voice of the secretary came over the loudspeaker.

"Oh, yes?" Miss O'Dell answered, forgetting all about Neruda's "calcetines."

"We have a package here for you from Izaak High School," the secretary informed her.

Miss O'Dell gasped loudly. "They're here! They're here!" she exclaimed, dashing out the door. The class stared after her a moment before she popped her head back in and called to the secretary, "I'll be right there!"

The classroom was left unsupervised. "Woo! No teacher!" someone shouted, before the class erupted into pandemonium. The students began talking loudly amongst them selves.

"Saved by the secretary!" Numbuh Five declared. "Man, that '_poem_' was weird!"

"Yeah. Who writes a poem about socks?" Kuki replied.

"Pablo Neruda, apparently," Wally answered.

"If you even wanna call it a poem," Abby put in. "And that's a big 'if.'"

"It's not his best anything, that's for sure," Wally said.

"How would you know?" Abby asked, tipping her hat up, so she could scrutinize him teasingly. "You seem to know plenty about poets."

"So I went home and looked up those poets this weekend," Wally replied, shrugging his shoulders, though it was clear that he was a little embarrassed.

"So what did he write that you did like?" Kuki asked.

"Well, his poem about the turtle was pretty good," Wally answered. "Or at least it wasn't way out there weird."

"I think y'all need to just stop talkin' 'bout the nutty Peruvian poet," Abby decided.

"Okay, what do you want to talk about? …Oh, and he's Chilean, not Peruvian," Wally corrected her.

"Whatevuh. I wanna talk about that sick new headphone policy they got started," Abby said, narrowing her eyes at the thought.

"What's the problem? You don't even bring your CD player to school," Kuki said.

"It's the principle of the matter, girl!" Abby declared with conviction, pounding her palm with her fist. "Even if _I_ don't use the thangs here, there are other kids who do. It's their right! Adults don't like it when kids listen to their music in their bedrooms, and the _hate _it when we change the radio station in the care. Now they want to take it away from us in our few moments of free time in between classes? We may not listen to our CD players in school, but those other kids do, and as Kids Next Door operatives, it is our duty to preserve the rule for _their _sakes."

"…I can imagine an American flag waving behind you with the national anthem playing in the background," Wally said finally. He and Kuki immediately started laughing.

"Laugh all you want, but there ain't no way they're takin' these kids' headphones away while _I'm_ around," Abby stated.

"And what exactly are you going to do about it? They haven't taken anything away yet," Wally said.

"Oh, Numbuh Five's got her plans, baby…" Abby said to herself, quietly rubbing her hands together and grinning mischievously.

"Abby, that's kind of creepy looking," Kuki told her friend.

"Of course it's creepy. It's Abby," Wally said, starting to laugh again.

"Oh, yeah? Then what's with that mask you be wearin', pretty boy?" Abby returned.

"Hey! Watch it! And I've told ya before! I'm not pretty… I'm handsome," Wally marked.

"That's because girls are pretty and boys are handsome," Kuki said.

"Not all boys are handsome, girl. Especially not Wallabee Beatles," Abby answered.

"Stop teasing. Wally is to handsome," Kuki responded. Wally sat and listened, laughing nervously.

"Maybe, but _you_ said it, not me," Abby smirked, mischievously. She glanced over at Wally and winked inconspicuously.

"Uh, yeah, so… how 'bout that mission yesterday?" Wally asked. "Pretty rough, eh?"

"Yeah, it was a pretty close call," Kuki agreed. "It would have failed if the M.O.P.E.D. had been damaged more than just losing the passenger seat."

"I'll give you that one," Abby said. "Just think. If you guys had shown ten seconds later, those scripts would have made it all the way to school, and kids in all English classes would be stuck reading _Romeo and Juliet_."

"Yeah, lucky for them they have the Kids Next Door," Wally stated. "Otherwise they'd be stuck reading the 'greatest romance of all time.'"

"I don't see what the big deal is about that play," Abby asserted. "Cree read it back when she was in seventh grade, and from her summary, it's just a couple of teenagers who fall in love, but their parents hate each other, so they decide to kill themselves."

"Ugh!" Kuki blurted.

"That wouldn't have happened if they were kids… or rainbow monkeys," Wally grinned, shooting a sideways glance at Kuki.

"Please don't remind me of that!" Kuki begged. "That day was horrible, and rainbow monkeys are annoying now!"

"You know you still sleep with that one doll from Christmas in fifth grade," Abby laughed.

"It's like a pillow. Come on, you guys! You don't have Mushi running around your house, smacking two rainbow monkeys together and making kissing noises," Kuki said.

"You're right. I have Joey watching The Wiggles and Jojo's Circus," Wally answered. "Do you have any idea how annoyingly pointless those shows are?"

"Nope, and I'd like to leave it that way. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for making me the youngest daughter," Abby laughed at both of her friends' expenses.

"_Anyways_," Kuki cut in. "It's a good thing we got rid of those scripts so we won't have to read _Romeo and Juliet_ for ourselves." Wally and Abby expressed their agreement.

"Wheeee!" Every head in the classroom turned toward the door, the source of the noise. A few seconds later, Miss O'Dell came dashing through the door with a large box in her arms. "Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!" she squealed. She rushed to the front of the room and set the box on her desk.

"How many teachers you know say 'whee' and 'oh, boy?'" Abby whispered to Kuki. When Miss O'Dell had herself situated, she turned around to face her students.

"Class, I have an announcement to make," she said, barely containing her excitement. "I've wanted to make this announcement for a long time now, but I didn't want to until it was absolutely official, because I didn't want to get your hopes up and then let them fall again. Don't roll your eyes, the project almost fell through yesterday when the CPS was attacked and our special gift from the principal stolen." The three Kids Next Door operatives exchanged low-fives.

"You see, kids, I have a passion for theater. Why, I almost became a Broadway actress, but, alas! They said I was no good, and so I became an English teacher-."

"What was in the package?" someone asked.

"Oh! Well, the package that was stolen from the delivery truck was a case of new scripts for William Shakespeare's _Romeo and Juliet_," Miss O'Dell gushed. "But, since they were stolen, I had feared last night that my project might fall through. However, the kind administrators over at Ignatius High School were kind enough to give us their old copies of the play!" she informed, pulling out one of these scripts from the box. The whole class groaned.

"You mean we _still_ have to read that stupid play?" Abby inquired loudly. "Man, that stanks!"

"Oh, no, Abigail! You have it all wrong, it's wonderful!" Miss O'Dell said. "And besides that, you'll be doing much more than just reading _Romeo and Juliet_."

"Say what?" Abby asked, confusedly.

"In addition to reading the greatest romantic tragedy of all time, you will be memorizing, blocking, and building set for it," Miss O'Dell told them. The class stared blankly for a moment.

"You can't possibly mean…?" Wally asked.

"After years of begging and pleading, Mr. Lapicnirp has finally allowed me to organize a school play!" Miss O'Dell declared excitedly. "_Romeo and Juliet_, presented by Hendrie Middle School's seventh grade class! I can see it now," Ms. O'Dell said. "A full house, a lit stage, and two of my students performing the balcony scene." She sighed loudly at the image.

"Wait a minute! I thought this was a romance? Won't there be… kissing?" Abby asked.

"Well, certainly, Abigail! This is The Bard we are talking about. You cannot improvise from him!" Miss O'Dell said. The whole class went dead silent. "Now, I'm going to begin auditions next Friday. Who wants to be the first to sign up?" she asked, picking up a clipboard and pen and waving them in front of her class to entice them.

Every student stared blankly, paying no attention whatsoever to the clipboard.

"This… is… wrong!" Abby summed it all up.

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Hand-me-down scripts? Was their mission for naught? Maybe you should stay tuned to find out!

Post notes: Yes, Wally has increased his intelligence and started applying himself. No, he's not a _genius_, but he's in some enrichment classes.

Yes, Nigel and Lizzie are still dating. No, she will not be sick the whole story, nor will they break up in this story.

Yes, the headphone issue is based on a policy instated at my school where students caught using headphones in the hallways will lose their headphones and be added to a secret tally which, if it equals thirty or more by the end of the year, will cause a policy that doesn't allow headphones at all on school grounds. No, I did not need to explain the whole situation to you.

Yes, Pablo Neruda and his "Ode to My Socks" is a real person and a real poem. No, I don't know what it is actually talking about.

Yes, Wally was referring to Operation: T.R.E.A.T. with his pretty-handsome comment. No, Abby was not implying that either of her teammates has a crush on the other.

Yes, Wally was referencing Operation: K.A.S.T.L.E. No, he didn't have any thoughts running through his mind about the end of that episode.

Yes, Kuki grew out of rainbow monkeys. No, she did not completely grow out of her girly-girlness.

Yes, I hate The Wiggles and Jojo's Circus. No, I don't have to watch it as much as you guys that may have siblings that are three years old.

Yes, Miss O'Dell is a spoof of every crazy drama teacher ever shown on television. No, not all Drama teachers are _that_ crazy, as evidenced by Ms. Duehring.

Okay, well, until next time, peoples. R&R! (Spreads aloe on sunburns…)


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two, in which the Kids Next Door discuss and implement sabotage plans! Read on!

Disclaimer: I do not own Codename: Kids Next Door or its fantastic characters. They are the property of Mr. Warburton and Curious Pictures.

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Chapter 2

The news spread fast from the students in Miss O'Dell's third period class. The subsequent period was lunch, so from each corner of the cafeteria, the word of the play spread like wildfire, although no one seemed as perturbed as the kids of Sector V.

"It's disastrous! Terrible!" Nigel declared, standing from his seat when he'd heard. "We're twelve! Why should we be doing _Romeo and Juliet_?" he sneered.

"You make it sound like it's some adult plot," Hoagie said, taking a bit out of his hoagie.

"And you don't?" someone posed in an Irish accent. The group of three turned around. Francine "Fanny" Fulbrite, a.k.a. "Numbuh 86" stood behind them. A young lady with flaming red frizzy hair and freckles, she was head of decommissioning. She wore a green turtleneck and an orange skirt. Loud and impatient, a visit from her wasn't always the most pleasant. "Why else would we be persuaded to do a romantic-tragedy for our school play?" she asked, looking down and grabbing a cheese curl out of Nigel's paper bag lunch.

"Oh, please, man!" Abby said, popping a potato chip into her mouth. "This is Miss O'Dell we're talkin' about. The woman can barely get herself into class every morning, let alone facilitate our doom."

"Or maybe that's just what she _wants_ us to think!" Fanny suggested, tapping her temple with the cheese curl before eating it. "She's an adult! Loopy and spaced out, but still an adult!"

"Look, Fanny. I ain't sayin' I wanna try out for the lead role- I still think it's a stupid idea and a stupid play. But there is no way this play is going to be a threat to kid-kind!"

"You say that now, but somebody has to make sure that this show does not go on!"

"What do you suggest?" Nigel asked.

"First we'll have to try out for the play-," Fanny started.

"_Excuse me?_" Abby exclaimed. "Now I _know_ you did not just say that we have to try out for that play!"

"If we are going to sabotage the play, we have to be as close to it as possible, which means we have to be in it," Fanny answered. "In fact, it would be easier if at least one of us got the lead."

"Fanny, I'm not sure I could play Romeo," Hoagie said, glancing down at his stomach.

"Don't worry, Hoagie," Nigel said, puffing himself up. "I think I'll be able to take care of that."

"Heh… Denied thy charm and refused thy beauty…" Abby chuckled. Nigel shot her a glare, and Hoagie started snickering too as Fanny rolled her eyes.

Across the cafeteria, in the Ala Carte line, Kuki and Wally had prepared trays of chips and pizza. Wally grabbed a slushee. "Da-nana-na! Buying cherry slushy! Da-nanana! Gonna freeze my brain!" Wally sang, as he did so often. He slid down to make room for Kuki, so that she could get her slushee. Instead, she continued sliding on. "Hey, Kuki, why aren't you getting a slushee? They only sell them on Thursdays!" he asked her.

"Oh, I forgot to ask my dad for the money this morning. You know how it is," Kuki answered, waving her hand. Her oversized sleeve flew around as she did so and hit the person behind her in line. "Oh! My oopsie!" she exclaimed, turning to apologize. A short darkly tanned girl glowered at Kuki, emitting a low growl from the back of her throat. Kuki's bright smile dulled for a fraction of a second. "Oh, hi, Lluvia. Sorry about that," she said.

"Debes ser. You should be," Lluvia spat, pushing out of line to the cash register. Kuki let out a sigh of relief.

"_Man_, that girl is annoying! Why does she always have to say something in Spanish? What's wrong with plain, old English?" Wally asked.

"Yeah, I bet she'll get an easy A when she starts Spanish in eighth grade," Kuki answered.

"Yup, so ready to check out?" Wally asked.

"Yeah, let's go. I'm hungry!" Kuki answered, though she cast a look of longing at the slushees. She started for the register, but Wally had noticed her glance at the slushees and grabbed her arm.

"Oh, no ya don't! Grab a slushee. On me!" he grinned.

"Are you sure, Wally?" Kuki asked.

"Sure as a slushee," he winked. Kuki beamed and placed a slushee on her tray, following Wally to the register and then out to the cafeteria. The made their way down the aisles in the direction of the table. "What's the verdict, then?" Wally asked the group, referring to the play he assumed they'd been discussing.

"When you get back to your English class, I want each of you to sign up for an audition for that play," Fanny instructed. "I have Miss O'Dell next period, so I'll sign up first. Start practicing your lines. At least one of you has to become Romeo or Juliet." She turned and walked back to her table.

After staring after for a few seconds, Abby shot a sly glance at Wally. "I nominate Blondie to be Juliet," she said.

"'Ey!" Wally exclaimed. "What makes you think _I'm_ going to run around on stage wearing tights?"

"Because you have to. Orders are orders," Nigel answered. "Don't worry, you can probably get by with being a soldier or something. We need someone in this group who can act to play Romeo or Juliet though." He looked around for volunteers. "Well, if no one else is up to the task…"

"Then I'll be brief," Abby said, picking up the spork from Kuki's tray. "O happy spork! This is thy sheath! There mold, and let me escape this fool!" She imitated stabbing herself in the gut with the utensil amidst laughter from Hoagie, Kuki, and Wally. Nigel fumed silently and ate his cheese curls.

Sixth period rolled around, finding Kuki, Wally, and Abby shuffling unwillingly back into Miss O'Dell's class. The bell finally rang and Miss O'Dell stood up at the front of the classroom. "Well, students, I hope you have all started thinking about the play," she welcomed them. "Would anybody like to sign up for an audition yet?" Kuki, Wally, and Abby glanced between each other before Abby slowly stood up. The whole class gasped.

"I'd like to audition…" she said reluctantly.

The whole class gasped. Miss O'Dell looked like she had died and gone to heaven. "Why, Abigail! I didn't know you were an actress!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, wha'd'you think I'm doin' right now?" Abby murmured.

"My, you and Francine are just full of surprises today. Well, then, here is the audition sheet! I'll just let you pick a time slot!" Miss O'Dell said, bringing the clipboard to Abby, who painfully signed her name. "Oh! And before I forget, you'll need a copy of the audition monologue!" She returned to her desk and took out a packet of papers with a long paragraph printed on them. She handed on to Abby before taking back the clipboard. "Would anybody else like to sign up?"

After a moment's hesitation and a quick glance, both Kuki and Wally raised their hands. Miss O'Dell squealed with delight as the two signed their names and took their monologues. A dull murmur went around the room before another boy raised his hand, "Miss O'Dell, I'd like to try-out as well."

"Me too."

"Me three."

Miss O'Dell excitedly went about the room, allowing the students to sign the audition sheet. "Good Lord, what have we done…?" Abby muttered, sliding into her chair.

"Thou knowest the mask of night is on my face,

Else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek

For that which thou hast heard me speak tonight.

Fain would I dwell on form–fain, fain deny

What I have spoke; but farewell compliment!

Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say 'Ay,'

And I will take thy word. Yet if thou swear'st

Thou mayst prove false. At lovers' perjuries,

They say, Jove laughs. O gentle Romeo,

If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully.

Or if thou thinkest I am too quickly won,

I'll frown and be perverse and say thee nay,

So thou wilt woo, but else not for the world.

In truth, fair Montague, I am too fond,

And therefore thou mayst think my havior light.

But trust me, gentleman, I'll prove more true

Than those that have more coying to be strange.

I should have been more strange, I must confess,

But that thou hast overheardst, ere I was ware,

My true-love passion. Therefore pardon me,

And not impute this yielding to light love,

Which the dark night hath so discoverèd." (_Act 2, Scene 2, Lines 85-106_)

"Okay, so we think that it should be Numbuh Three we work on for Juliet," Numbuh Eighty-six said a few seconds after Numbuh Three had finished reading through the monologue. The kids of Sector V had made it home from school, joined by their favorite head of decommissioning, and were sitting in the living room of the tree house.

"And it's agreed that Numbuh One will _not_ be our focus for Romeo," Numbuh Five said.

"Why not?" Numbuh One asked.

"Talent from _thy_ lips? O trespass sweetly opposed," Numbuh Five replied, laughing. The rest of the team laughed as well.

"Oh, whatever. As long as Numbuh Three gets her role, there's no reason for me to use my talent when I hate the play anyways," Numbuh One answered.

"Then save my ears the sin they have heard," Numbuh Five added, causing yet more laughter from her teammates.

"Oh, all right, all right. Just remember that if Numbuh Three doesn't get the part of Juliet, it will be that much more difficult for us to sabotage this play," Numbuh One said. He stared over at Numbuh Three over the rim of his glasses. "This will be a lot of hard work. Are you sure you're up to it, Numbuh Three?"

"Of course, silly!" Numbuh Three answered.

"Good. Now for pre-audition sabotage," Numbuh Eighty-six said.

"What's that?" Numbuh Two asked.

"It is better to be proactive than reactive," Numbuh Eighty-six answered. "If we can stop this play before it starts, no one will even have to audition."

"How do we do that, Numbuh One?" Numbuh Four asked.

"We start by…"

Early Saturday morning, while all the other kids were either sleeping or watching cartoons, Kids Next Door Numbuhs One through Five and Eighty-six were scattered about the entrances to the Hendrie Middle School Auditorium. Numbuh Eighty-six was stationed at a side door near the back, peering through the small window. The entire room was dark. "Sector V, report status," Numbuh Eighty-six spoke into her headset.

On the other end of the auditorium, near the stage, Numbuh Four had a small camera slipped beneath the crack in the door and was viewing inside with a screen while Numbuh Three kept look out. "Nothing near the stage," Numbuh Four relayed through Numbuh Three's walkie-talkie.

"Maintenance is still trimming the hedges near the gate," Numbuh Three added to Numbuh Eighty-six.

Numbuhs One and Five were hidden in the brush outside the greenroom and dressing room windows. Numbuh Five gave her leader the thumbs-up. "Backstage is all clear," Numbuh One reported.

"Good. Numbuh Two, commence Operation Leftovers," Numbuh Eighty-six said, looking up to the B.-A.I.R.-R.E.L. (Barge Above Intended Rogues Relays Essence Lightly) hovering over the school.

From the pilot's seat of the B.-A.I.R.-R.E.L., Numbuh Two nodded his head. "I'm on it, Numbuh Eighty-six," he said, pressing a few buttons. The big underbelly of the barge opened up, releasing a large drill that dropped to the roof of the kitchen, right next-door to the auditorium. After a few moments, there was a goodly-sized hole in the ceiling. The drill retreated, and a large pipe dropped down in its place, fitting its mouth through the hole.

A small camera was placed inside the mouth of the pipe, allowing Numbuh Two to see where he was aiming the gigantic thing. "All right, cupcake. Let's find the freezer…" he said, taking the joystick in his hand. He maneuvered the pipe around the kitchen. There were several large counters and ovens, can openers and blenders. "Aha! Jackpot!" he exclaimed when he finally locked on the gigantic freezer. He used the tube to nudge the door open. "Bingo." Numbuh Two flipped a switch and began sucking all of the leftover lunches from the icebox.

"Who would have thought Grandma Stuffum cooking so much more food than we can eat would ever turn out to be a good thing?" Numbuh Two remarked.

"Nicely done. How long until the freezer is empty?" Numbuh Eighty-six inquired.

"Should be another two minutes, Numbuh Eighty-six," Numbuh Two answered.

"All right. Keep your eyes open, operatives," Numbuh Eighty-six instructed. "Especially you, Numbuh Three and Four. Keep an eye on those gardeners."

"Okie-dokie," Numbuh Three answered. She looked up to check on the gardeners. "Wha-!" she exclaimed. "Numbuh Four! They're gone!"

"What!" Numbuh Four cried out. "Where'd they-!" They both spotted them heading for the shrubs behind the auditorium. "Numbuh One! Maintenance is heading your way with a couple of hedge clippers!" Numbuh Four called into the walkie-talkie.

"What!" Numbuhs One and Five exclaimed. They looked out through the leaves.

"What do we do?" Numbuh Five asked.

"Numbuh Eighty-six, please advise!" Numbuh One whispered into his walkie-talkie.

"Numbuh Two, can't that machine go any faster?" Numbuh Eighty-six asked.

"Not without blowing out the engines," Numbuh Two answered.

"Don't you give me any lip!" Numbuh Eighty-six shouted. "We've got trouble!"

"Numbuh Eighty-six…!" Numbuh One called.

"Hey! Mr. Gardener-men!" Kuki ran up to the maintenance workers. Numbuhs One and Five went silent and peered out at their teammate.

"What are you doing here, little girl? It's a weekend. Why are you at school on a weekend?" one groundskeeper asked.

"My kitty got stuck up in the tree! You have to help me get him out!" Kuki pleaded. The gardeners glanced between each other and followed her toward the outer wall of the schoolyard. Numbuhs One and Five sighed in relief.

"Crisis resolved," Numbuh One reported.

"Check, Numbuh One," Numbuh Eighty-six answered. "Numbuh Two, how is that transfer coming.

"I'm just getting the last meat-oaf out of the freezer…" Numbuh Two said. "Got it. Commencing transfer!" he flipped a few more switches and pulled the pipe from the kitchen room. The drill lowered to the auditorium and made another hole before the pipe dropped again. "So much for the no food in the auditorium rule! We're breaking it on a grand _old_ scale!" Numbuh Two laughed before pressing a large red button.

"Oh, man… _That _was pushin' it!" Numbuh Five slapped her palm to her forehead and shaking her head.

When the button was compressed, there was a loud sound similar to mechanical bowel movement. The pipe swelled as the leftovers the B.-A.I.R.-R.E.L. had collected were dropped. Within moments, the auditorium was filled with meat-oaf, scream of spinach, and filet of squish.

A bit of slop slipped underneath the door Numbuh Eighty-six was guarding and she grinned. "Mission accomplished. Operation Leftovers is a success. Operatives, fall out," she ordered, heading out away from the school.

"Roger that," Numbuh Two answered. He retracted the pipe and took off the B.-A.I.R.-R.E.L.

"Let's go," Numbuh Five said before she and Numbuh One took off in the opposite direction of gardeners.

"Meow. Meow," Numbuh Four repeated from the thick leaves of the tree in the corner of the schoolyard. He was well hidden among the branches.

"Got it, Numbuh Eighty-six," Numbuh Three said. She turned to the gardeners who were staring up the trunk of the tree, looking for her "kitty." "I'm sorry, Mr. Gardener-men. I just remembered I don't have a kitty!" she smiled at them innocently.

"Then what's making that mewing sound?" one of the groundskeepers asked.

Numbuh Four dropped out of the tree. "Oh, hi there!" Numbuh Three greeted him. "My oopsie. That's just my friend. He can only talk like an animal."

"Ruff ruff!" Numbuh Four barked. The gardeners stared on in confusion.

"Okay, thanks for all your help!" Numbuh Three said. "Bye-bye!" She grabbed Numbuh Four by the hand and ran off.

When they were out of earshot, Numbuh Four turned to her. "'Can only talk like an animal?'" he asked.

"Why else would you be up in a tree making cat noises?" Numbuh Three asked.

Numbuh Four smirked over at her and purred in the back of his throat. They both laughed as they continued running back to the tree house.

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(Purrs in the back of her throat.) He was kidding people... sort of. So, who else is not allowed to have food in their school auditorium? Who happens to be in drama and eats in there anyway? Yeah, Grandma Stuffum works at their school at intervals. How will this affect the play? Keep tuned to find out. There probably won't be another chapter for a week or so because I have A.P. testing next week. XP But, when you do get an update, you'll like it... I hope. Okay, R&R, guys!

Oh, btw, _now_ Kuki really does owe Wally a quarter. :P


	4. Chapter 3

Okay, new chappie, hooray! I can't type up a decent note because I'm sitting in my newspaper class and the bell is going to ring in just a few minutes. So, I'll just let you guys get to reading.

Disclaimer: I do not own Codename: Kids Next Door or it's soopuh characters. They are the property of Mr. Warburton and Curious Pictures.

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Chapter 3

Late Saturday evening, the kids of Sector V left the tree house, en route to their homes. The group had already reached Abby's house, dropping the girl off with her family before continuing. The next nearest house was the Gilligan residence. Kuki skipped a few feet ahead of Hoagie and Wally.

"So, do you think the leftovers will really ruin the play?" Hoagie asked, kicking a rock in front of him.

"Of course it will. I don't know about you, but I just can't see us doing Romeo and Juliet in a pile of bleat-balls," Wally answered.

"I know, I mean, do you think the clean-up will take long enough to cancel the play?" Hoagie pried. "I mean, it's a lot of food, but if Grandma Stuffum had her way, it would all be ingested within a day anyhow."

"Come on, Hoagie, don't think about it so much," Wally assured his friend.

"I guess I'm just nervous is all," Hoagie said. "I know I wouldn't be trying out for Romeo or anything like that, but you know how nervous I get on stage…"

"Hey! That was second grade! You can't still be that shook up about it, can you?" Wally asked.

"I guess not…" Hoagie answered as they came to a stop at his front walk. "I just don't want whatever plan it is that the adults have to defeat us just because I clam up onstage."

"Don't worry. You won't even have to get onstage because it'll take 'em a _month_ to clean up that auditorium!" Wally said. "See ya later, Hoagie!"

"Later, Wally. Bye, Kuki!" Hoagie called.

"Bye-bye, Hoagie!" Kuki responded, waving to him as he made his way up the front walk and through his front door. She and Wally both jumped when they heard a crash inside the house though.

"TOMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY DESK AT THE TOP- SCRATCH THAT- _BOTTOM_ OF THE STAIRS?" they heard Hoagie yell.

"Well, since Mom won't let me build stuff in my room anymore after that last explosion, I have to move all my building materials to the basement," they heard Tommy explain feebly.

"MY DESK IS NOT BUILDING MATERIAL!" Hoagie hollered. "MO-OOM!"

Kuki and Wally laughed at the siblings and turned to continue walking. Wally's house was actually just one block from Abby's, but it even though it was only six, it was already dark outside, and he didn't want Kuki to walk home by herself. The others accepted it because Kuki wasn't very good at defending herself, even years later. He never told anyone the real reason he always volunteered to walk her home…

"Thanks for walking me home, Wally," she said as they turned the corner at the end of the block.

"No problem. Most teens'll probably be out on dates tonight, but you never know about the adults," Wally replied.

"So, what were you and Hoagie talking about that had him so quiet? Usually lights turn on in the houses as we pass," Kuki said.

"Oh, he's just worried about the play," Wally answered, waving it off.

"Why's he worried about the play? His B.-A.I.R.-R.E.L. completely ruined the auditorium," Kuki inquired.

"Yeah, but he's still worried because he's prone to stage fright; just doesn't wanna take any chances," Wally explained.

"Oh…" They walked in silence a few moments. "_You_ don't get stage fright, do you?" Kuki asked.

"What?" Wally blurted.

"I asked if you get stage fright," Kuki repeated.

"Of course not. What makes you think that?" Wally asked.

"Well, you wouldn't read the monologue last night. Since you mentioned it, I thought you might have stage fright," Kuki said.

"No, I didn't read because, well I didn't want you guys to laugh…" Wally trailed off.

"Sounds like stage fright to me," Kuki stated.

"I wouldn't call it stage fright," Wally said. "I wouldn't be afraid so much of going up in front of people, but you guys are different. We're a team, so no matter what people say, it will always matter what you all think of me, whereas I'll probably never see that auditorium-full of people again, so it doesn't matter at all what they think… Does that make sense?"

"I guess so, but is your acting that bad that you think it will change what we think about you?" Kuki asked.

"I don't know if my acting is good or bad. I've never really tried it, and the little bit I have done I've never let anyone see…" Wally said.

"Hmm…" Kuki hummed. Then she grabbed him by the arm and jerked him to a stop. "Show me!" she demanded.

"Show-? Show you what?" Wally stammered.

"Show me how you act!" Kuki said. "Do Romeo's monologue!"

"You think I have the thing memorized?" Wally asked.

"I have a copy at my house! We can go there, read your monologue, and then my mom can drive you home," Kuki suggested.

"I don't think so…" Wally said.

"Why not?" Kuki asked.

"I-… I'm just not comfortable acting in front of you, or any of my friends, yet, especially when I have no idea how terrible I might be," Wally answered slowly. Kuki looked disappointed and pouted. How he hated to say "no" to her. "Sorry, Kuki."

"It's okay…" He turned to her and gave her a small smile. She grinned too but gasped. "Wally, look! It's a shooting star!" He turned around and looked up. Sure enough, there was a meteor streaking across the sky.

"Oh, yeah. I remember now. Mr. Thurber told us there was going to be a meteor shower tonight," Wally said.

"Make a wish, Wally!" Kuki said excitedly, holding his arm and jumping up and down.

"All right, all right. Um…" he closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them up he glanced at her. "So… right. What now?"

"Now you wait for your wish to come true! But you can't ever tell anyone what you wished for or the wishing star won't make it come true," Kuki said sagely.

"Now I know why your parents named you Kuki…" he smirked, starting to walk again.

"Huh-? Hey!" Kuki exclaimed, batting at him with one of her oversized sleeves. He laughed and ran away, Kuki giving chase behind him until they reached her house. Kuki unlocked her front door and they walked inside. "Mama, I'm home!" Kuki called. Wally looked around the living room uncertainly. Hearing laughter in the adjacent family room, he craned his neck to glance through the doorway. Sitting on the couch watching the Rainbow-Yipper Extravaganza were Kuki's little sister, Mushi, and her "husband," "King" Sandy. Wally rolled his eyes, but returned his attention to the living room as Kuki's mom, Genkei Sanban, walked into the room.

"Welcome home, Kuki. Hello, Wally," Genkei greeted them.

"Hi, Mrs. Sanban," Wally replied.

"Mom, can you give Wally a ride home?" Kuki asked. "It's the least we can do after he walked me home," she cajoled.

"Only if you clean your room while I'm out," Genkei answered. Kuki nodded her head. "Khani, make sure you get the rolls out of the oven when the timer goes off!" she called as she picked her keys up off the table next to the front door. "Come on, Wally."

"Thanks, Mrs. Sanban," Wally thanked her as he started out the door.

"Bye, Wally," Kuki called to him.

"See ya, Kuki," he answered before Genkei closed the door. Kuki then climbed the stairs to her bedroom and flopped down on her bed, looking down out the window to the car pulling out of the driveway. Wally looked up from below, grinned, and waved up to her. Kuki waved back as the car started down the road. She sighed and glanced up. A meteor shot across the sky above her. Kuki shut her eyes tight.

'_I wish Wally would be more open for me one day._'

"Are you feeling any better?" Nigel asked. He was sitting on the edge of the bed in his girlfriend's room. Lizzie Divine was sitting next to him, fully dressed for the first time in days. She wore a yellow t-shirt with a turquoise star on the chest and a blue skirt. Her ginger hair was pulled into two braids on the side of her head, and round black glasses were perched on her nose.

"Much better now, Nigey, especially after you brought me my favorite caramel chews yesterday," she said, wrapping her arms around him. Nigel smiled to himself, reassured that the microscopic KND flu-fighter technology inside the caramels had worked. Lizzie quickly turned away and started sneezing. Nigel reached to the box of Kleenex on her bedside table and handed her a tissue. "Thank you, Nigey." She blew into the tissue.

"Nigel!" there was a call from downstairs from Lizzie's mother. "Your mom is on the phone! She wants to know if you're staying for dinner!"

"Only if I'm invited, ma'am. I don't want to impose," Nigel squeaked.

"You know you're always welcome here, Nigel!" Mrs. Divine replied. She laughed to herself. "Charlotte, your little boy sounds so cute. He's turning into a little man."

Lizzie snickered as Nigel looked back to her painfully. "Oh, don't worry, Nigey. Your voice will finish changing soon enough, and then you'll sound more manly than any of your friends," she assured him.

"Thanks, dear," he smiled weakly. "So, you'll be back in school on Monday then?"

"Yup, I'll be better by then," Lizzie replied. "Thanks again for bringing me my homework while I was out."

"Oh, it was no trouble. Class is boring without you," Nigel said.

"Don't lie. You got along fine with your other friends without me there," Lizzie said. "But that's okay, because I'm all right with you spending time with your friends now."

"Not like when we were ten and you wanted me completely to yourself," Nigel smirked.

"Who says I don't still want you all to myself?" Lizzie replied. "I've just learned to cope and meet you halfway."

"Which I appreciate very much," Nigel grinned.

"So… what else did I miss besides this homework?" Lizzie asked.

Nigel's thoughts immediately diverted to the play and he hesitated a moment, debating whether or not to tell her about it. '_Well, what's done is done, and that play won't be going anyway…_' he thought to himself. "Well, Miss O'Dell was trying to get us to do a stupid play," he answered nonchalantly.

"Ooh! What play?" Lizzie asked.

"_Romeo and Juliet_ of all things-."

"Ooh! Nigey! We should try out! You can be Romeo and _I'll_ be _Juliet_!" Lizzie cut in excitedly.

"Hold on a second, Lizzie," Nigel put his hands up to stop her. "I said she _was _planning for us to do a play, but me and the other Kids Next Door took care of it already."

"What do you mean by that, Nigel?" Lizzie asked dourly.

"Well, we sabotaged it-."

"Why would you do that!" Lizzie exclaimed.

"What-? Lizzie, we had to. That play was a plot by the adults," Nigel argued.

"Oh, everything is a plot by the adults to you guys," Lizzie sighed. "Don't you think doing a play would be fun, Nigey?"

"I don't know, I never really even got to think about it," Nigel shrugged. "Fanny made the orders as soon as she found out. Her theory- and it's a sound theory- is that Romeo and Juliet contains so much 'adult material,' i.e. the kissing and the death, that it will actually turn us into adults! Especially if Miss O'Dell is in on the whole plot and controls the show."

"Oh… no fair…" Lizzie pouted.

"I know, but Fanny outranks me, so I have to follow her orders. Plus we don't want to take any chances. If this play could turn us into adults, there's no way we can go through with it," Nigel answered, putting one arm around her shoulder. "Tell you what, if you really want to, once this thing is out of the way we can read the play ourselves. Together."

"Really?" Lizzie brightened.

"Really."

"Oh, Nigey!" Lizzie threw her arms around Nigel's neck and embraced him.

"Lizzie! Nigel! Dinner's ready!" Mrs. Divine called from downstairs.

"Let's go, dear," Nigel said, standing up and taking her hand. The two left the room and started down the hallway to the stairs. Lizzie glanced out the window by the staircase and squealed.

"Ooh! Nigey, look at all the shooting stars!" she gushed.

"There nice," Nigel commented.

"Nice? They're beautiful!" Lizzie said. "Oh! Make a wish, Nigey!"

Nigel thought for a moment before closing his eyes.

'_I wish this whole play thing will turn out for the best._'

Abby was smiling as she walked into her house, waving and calling goodbye to her friends as the continued on to Hoagie's house. Setting her backpack on the staircase, she started toward the kitchen. Her eyes narrowed, however, when she realized the house was fairly dark. "Hmm… Momma? Daddy?" she called out.

"They're out for the night, Abby." Cree Lincoln's voice came through the dark. Abby backed up to the stairs again and reached into her bag, pulling out a S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R.

"Leaving Abby with her dear, older sister?" Abby replied, making her way through the house, following the sound of her sister's voice.

"I don't like it any more than you do, Abby. You're the only kid I don't get paid to watch." Cree giggled, odd for someone who was supposedly unhappy with the current arrangement. Ever since she turned thirteen and betrayed the Kids Next Door, Cree had been a thorn in Abby and the other kids' sides. Cree, when one could see her, wore a pink, cropped t-shirt and baggy blue jeans, a gold chain around her neck. Her black hair was rather short and often covered one eye.

Abby reached the living room, where only the faint flickering of the television illuminated the room. Groping the wall for the light switch, Abby responded, "Which sucks because eight bucks an hour seems like the only incentive for you not to try to destroy me."

"If that's the way you want to view it," Cree snickered. Her voice was obviously coming from the couch.

"Bingo!" Abby cried out, flipping the light switch and leaping toward the sofa.

"Oh! Hey!" Cree exclaimed, looking up at her sister.

Abby's eyes widened, and she immediately reached her hand up to her face and shielded her eyes. "Oh, no! What did I just walk in on?" she moaned. Cree was sitting on the stomach of a boy, with her face mere inches from his. And this wasn't just any boy, either. It was her boyfriend, Chad Dickson. Chad was also a former operative, about a year or two younger than Cree. His exit from the Kids Next Door was similar to Cree's: upon reaching thirteen, he chose to betray the organization and join the adults. Chad had blonde hair and was well built from his membership with the football team. He wore a white t-shirt, blue jeans, and the red and black letterman's jacket that was then draped over the back of an armchair.

"Just what are you two doing?" Abby asked disgustedly, lowering her weapon.

"None of your business," Cree answered, getting off of Chad, allowing him to sit up before sitting on his lap and putting her arms around his neck.

"Mm-hmm. And if it required the dark, I bet it's none of Momma or Daddy's business either," Abby said.

"I don't think you saw any business take place once that light came on," Chad cut in, putting one hand around Cree's waist.

"Oh, I saw you two all up in _each other's_ business," Abby shot.

"Abby, just go up to your room and leave us alone. We would be out if I didn't have to watch you anyway," Cree ordered.

"Pssh. Abby's hungry. Don't know what you're talkin' about, goin' to her room," Abby responded.

"Then get yourself some food, and leave us be," Cree commanded, leaning back down on Chad.

Abby rolled her eyes and started toward the kitchen. "The way you two were makin' out, maybe _you_ should play Romeo and Juliet in this stupid play…" she mumbled as she reached the door.

"What was that?" Cree asked, turning back from Chad.

"What play?" Chad put in.

"Oh, my loopy English teacher wanted us to do _Romeo and Juliet_," Abby answered dismissively.

"Do? As in act and perform it?" Cree inquired… with a slight bit of panic in her voice? The teenage girl climbed off of Chad and crawled across the couch toward Abby.

Abby turned around slowly to stare down her sister and her boyfriend. "Yes, that is what she wanted us to do," she answered slowly. Cree and Chad glanced between each other nervously. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh! Oh, no reason!" Chad waved his hands in front of him defensively. "So, you're going to be doing _Romeo and Juliet_?"

Abby scrutinized them for a moment before answering. "Well, we _were_, but me and the other kids filled the auditorium with leftovers, so now the play should be off."

"You did? Oh, thank God!" Cree breathed. When she caught the look of surprise on Abby's face she corrected herself, "I mean, why would you do that? Is that where you were all day-?"

"Okay, enough is enough! What are you not telling me?" Abby cut her off loudly.

"Nothing, little sister. Just go get some food and-."

"Girl, you about to get splanked if you don't start tellin' me the truth!" Abby threatened.

"Oh, like we're afraid of that piece of junk. I practically invented the thing!" Chad retorted.

"Hmm… hehehe… well, maybe you guys can withstand the S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R…. but I wonder if Chad's jacket can take the ketchup blaster!" Abby shouted as she pulled out a small ketchup gun and grabbed Chad's jacket from the back of the armchair.

"Not the jacket!" Chad exclaimed, leaping over Cree and grabbing for the jacket, Abby quickly pulling away and holding the pistol to the jacket.

"Now talk!" she ordered.

"Don't do it, Chad!" Cree commanded.

"But, Cree, my jacket!" Chad moaned. "She'll kill it if we don't tell her about our plans and the play."

"Chad!" Cree shouted.

"What plans?" Abby demanded.

"The ones that'll be ruined if the play goes on!" Chad wailed.

"Shut up, you idiot!" Cree smacked him as Abby's eyes widened.

"Tell me more!" she inquired further.

"Oh, no you don't!" Cree cut in. "Bed. Now, little sister!"

"Not until I get answers!" Abby shot back, holding the gun ever closer to the jacket.

"Please don't let her hurt the jacket…!" Chad begged.

"I said bed!" Cree ordered. Before Abby could protest again, Cree shouted, "Armor on!" The infamous Battle Ready Armor activated, covering Cree's body with a red shell and black plating. As soon as the armor had covered her, Cree shot a small hook from her wrist at Abby. The latter gasped as her red had was torn from her head back to her sister. "Now give back the jacket, go to bed, and the hat might survive. Abby weighed her options carefully for a moment. "Well!"

"All right, all right!" Abby responded quickly, tossing the jacket back to Chad. Cree then returned the hat.

"Now go to your room," Cree instructed.

"But what about my dinner?"

"I said go!" A good deal of weapons appeared on Cree's arms and legs, all aimed at Abby.

"Okay! Sheesh, can't even get a little food in my belly…" Abby grumbled as she headed toward the staircase. Normally, she wouldn't let Cree tell her off like that, but she wanted to tell Nigel what she'd just heard as soon as possible, preferably without getting pummeled by two teenagers first. '_Man, this stanks. Apparently that play would have ruined all kinds of adult plans. We need to do it, but how can we when we just trashed the auditorium this morning?_' Upon reaching the top of the staircase, Abby turned and walked to the end of the hallway where her bedroom was. At the end of the hallway was a window looking out over the backyard. Through it, Abby could see the meteor shower above. She sighed softly.

'_I wish when we get to the school on Monday, the auditorium will be magically free of all leftovers…_'

ckndckndckndckndckndckndckndckndckndckndckndckndckndckndckndckndckndckndckndckndckndckndckndcknd

Omg! The play _wasn't _a horrible adult plot! That means the show _must _go on!

Okay, so looked at the new KND website at Curious Pictures and it is AWESOME! Everyone should go check it out. I saw a picture of Gallagher Elementary's auditorium. I definitely hope Hendrie Middle School's is smaller, otherwise my story might not be plausible because I'm not sure we could fill it with leftovers! Okay, well I might put up a better author's notes later, but I have to go now. R&R, peeps!


	5. Chapter 4

Wow, so half a year later we have Chapter Four, in which the effects of their attack on the auditorium become fully presented. Sorry it took so long. I was really close to just deleting this story because I didn't feel like writing it anymore. But yesterday I got a random stroke of inspiration and began writing again. Yay! I'm hoping this rubs off on some of my other more popular stories. Okay, so I only have one story more popular than this, but you get the idea. Anyway...

Disclaimer: I do not own Codename: Kids Next Door or it's fantabulous characters. They are the property of Mr. Warburton and Curious Pictures.

Fantabulous my calculus teacher's favorite word.

* * *

Chapter 4

"They _what_!"

Numbuh Eighty-six was always known for being loud and cranky, but she seemed extra double mad when Abby reported what she'd learned on Saturday night.

"Please tell me you're not serious, Numbuh Five," Numbuh One pleaded.

"Do I look like I'm foolin'?" she responded. Looking back to Numbuh Eighty-six she explained it all again, "I swear it on my life. I mentioned the play and they freaked out like nobody's business, and when I threatened Chad's jacket and asked what plans he said, and I quote, 'The ones that'll be ruined if the play goes on!' They're up to something big, and it's gonna go down if we don't do this play."

"No, no, no, no, no, no! This can't be happening…!" Numbuh Eighty-six griped to herself. "Now the auditorium is full of Grandma Stuffum's leftovers, and auditions are on in four days!" By now it was Monday. The team took Sundays off and, as a result, Numbuh Five was unable to make contact with her fellow operatives until Monday morning in front of their school.

"So basically instead of stopping a massive adult plot we've just helped them out," Numbuh Four stated rather than asked.

"Seems that way," Numbuh Five answered, crossing her arms over her chest and lowering her head.

"What are we gonna do?" Numbuh Three asked.

"Well, there's no way to tell. We don't even know what their plans are or when they plan to implement them. They could attack today for all we know. So at this point all we can do is prepare to defend ourselves and try to figure out what their plans are," Numbuh One said. The kids all lowered their heads knowing that this was not good.

"I'm heading to Moon Base Command to find out what they think of it all," Numbuh Eighty-six said. "If the teenagers are that worried about it, this plan has to be big. Heck, with those teenagers it might even be the big one. We might need extra help, but I don't want to make a move without Numbuh Three-sixty-two's say-so. Make sure to get my homework," she commanded. They saluted her, and she strode off in the opposite direction of the school. The team returned to looking glum as they watched her go off. Numbuh Two looked around at his friends amazed at their pessimism.

"No way! Come on, guys! There's gotta be a way to fix this!" he exclaimed. "We're the Kids Next Door! We can figure out a way to clear that auditorium before auditions!"

"Numbuh Two, are you insane? It'll take weeks for us to move all that slop!" Numbuh One said. "Now that it's thawed it'll never go back into that freezer. You know leftovers can only be frozen once. And even if ever kid in the tri-county area ate this crud for the next three days, there's no way we'd be clear of it all by Friday."

"Well, I'm not willing to give up. There's gotta be a way to get rid of all this food!" Numbuh Two declared. The first bell rang, so he started into the school ahead of them to get a jump-start on his plans. Glancing between each other, the others quickly followed on their way to their lockers and then respective classes.

"Hey, Nigel, do you really think this could be the big one?" Wally asked as they headed from their lockers to their math class.

"I don't know, Wally. I really don't-."

"Oh, Nigey!" Wally grimaced and Nigel beamed as they turned to see Lizzie hurrying down the hallway toward her boyfriend.

"Good morning, Lizzie!" Nigel greeted, glad to see the caramels had worked one hundred percent. "I see you're all better."

"All better, thank you, Nigey," Lizzie said, slipping her arm into his. "And I'm so glad you got all my absent work for me. Now I won't be behind in my classes."

"Well, that's what I got them for," Nigel responded. "I wouldn't want you to suffer any more than that awful flu."

"Oh, Nigey!" Lizzie threw her arms around his neck.

"Oh, brother!" Wally threw his arms into the air. He abandoned them and continued to math alone.

"What's his problem?" Lizzie asked rhetorically, rolling her eyes as she relinquished Nigel and allowed him to lead her to their class. "You know Nigey, I am still feeling a little disappointed about this whole play business, especially when I remembered how we had to miss out on the fourth grade musical. So instead of waiting for you to finish this mission to read the play, what I thought we might do is-."

Nigel cut her off, "Speaking of the play, Lizzie. It turns out we made a mistake in ruining it."

"What do you mean, Nigey?" Lizzie asked.

"I mean, the play wasn't an adult plot. It can actually stop the adults in ways we don't even know yet," Nigel explained.

"So we can do the play afterall!" Lizzie exclaimed. "Oh, Nigey, this is wonderful news!"

"Hold on a second, Lizzie. We still can't do the play unless we clean out the auditorium," Nigel said. "And in all likelihood that isn't going to happen. But I do have a favor to ask of you." The last sentence was added rather gravely as he pulled her to the side next to the classroom door.

"What's that?" Lizzie asked, surprised at the seriousness of his voice.

"We're probably going to have our top spies on this task, but your keen ears have helped us out before," Nigel said. "Lizzie, now more than ever, I want you to keep an ear out for any suspicious gossip, especially stuff related to the teens."

"Nigey, I don't know how much help I can be-," Lizzie started.

"Lizzie, I'm serious! This could be the big one!" Nigel said.

"The big one?" she repeated. "Nigel, I don't understand."

"Lizzie, Cree and Chad were the ones that leaked the information, and when they did they were freaked out. I mean freaked _out_, and these are two of the top teens in the adult organization. And because it has to do with the school play we think this means they're going after all kids now instead of just focusing on Kids Next Door operatives. This could be the greatest threat to all childhood."

"All kids everywhere?"

"Yes!" Lizzie thought about this for a second. "Lizzie, you know I wouldn't ask you to do this if it wasn't of the utmost importance. All I'm asking you to do is listen out for any suspicious activity. That's it. It could mean all the difference."

"…Okay, Nigel." He smiled at her.

"Thank you, Lizzie," he said and planted a small kiss on her lips. Their first one.

Lizzie grinned widely and hugged him tightly. "Oh, Nigey!" The bell rang and the two ducked into their math class to join Wally for an hour of learning.

Over in the science wing, Hoagie was paying less attention to the teacher than to his plots in front of him. So far he had come up with several rather innovative ways to move the food but had yet to determine what they would do with it afterward. They could always save it for hamster food and never have to worry about that again, but it was too risky to have that evil food in the tree house.

As he sat there drawing out plans, Abby sat next to him taking notes on the Earth's orbit. It was hard to say how she felt about his throwing himself into this. On the one hand she thought it was a waste of time because that food would be impossible to get rid of in the next few days. On the other hand, his initiative impressed her, as did his optimism. Hoagie was a smart boy, but she couldn't decide if he was acting intelligent or retarded at the moment.

"Review! Whose research and calculations determined that the Earth has an elliptical orbit?" Mr. Kafka asked the class near the end of the period. The sixth grade Earth and space science teacher was, overall, not the nicest of the teachers in the school. He had his moments, but normally the tall thin educator enjoyed torturing and embarrassing his students. Some believed it was payback for all the years of ridicule he'd seen for the early thinning of his blonde hair. Incidentally, Fanny Fulbrite seemed to be the only student he actually did like. He slowly scanned the room for the indolent and found Hoagie staring at his calculations. "Mr. Gilligan!"

Hoagie didn't quite catch it, and Abby quickly nudged him in the side. "Huh?" Hoagie blurted, dropping his pencil. He'd all but missed the question.

"Would you care to tell the class the answer to the question?" Mr. Kafka asked over the giggling of his students.

"Uh, sure I would. I'd be happy to answer the question. It's uh… it's um…" he looked down at his papers and pretended to rifle through his notes as he searched for an answer. Abby, knowing his distress and knowing that Hoagie had a good reason for not paying attention, lightly kicked him under the table and looked away as she pointed to the answer in her notes. Hoagie glanced to where her finger was and exclaimed loudly as though he'd found it in his own notebook, "Oh! Oh, of course. What was I thinking? It's Copernicus."

"Correct, Mr. Gilligan." Hoagie shot grateful smile toward Abby. "Perhaps you could find it in your own notes next time instead of Miss Lincoln's." The two stiffened.

A few minutes later the bell rang and they gathered their things to leave. Hoagie shuffled his papers together and made to stuff them into his notebook. "Mr. Gilligan," Mr. Kafka appeared by his side a few seconds later. "I noticed you were not at full attention today. Might I see what it is that was keeping your attention away from Copernicus' laws of elliptical orbit?" he instructed rather than requested. Not waiting for a protest or compliance, he took the papers from Hoagie.

"Mr. Kafka, with all due respect, those are personal, and I'd rather-," Hoagie started.

"These are most interesting, Mr. Gilligan. It looks as though they seek to remove the food from our currently inundated auditorium," Mr. Kafka cut him off. "Are you interested in helping Miss O'Dell?" Hoagie looked over to Abby for assistance, but she was as at a loss as he. "Or could it be you know something of the culprits of this serious act of vandalism?"

Mr. Kafka was tall, so his leering down at them seemed all the more intimidating. When he still didn't get a response, he handed the papers back to Hoagie. "Hurry along. You don't want to be late to class." The two nodded their heads and hurried out the door. Mr. Kafka watched them leave for a moment and stepped into his supply closet for a moment as his next class filed in.

"Hey, guys," Abby whispered two periods later in Miss O'Dell's class. "Was Mr. Kafka acting all weird last period?"

"What do you mean 'weird?'" Wally asked.

"Check this: at the end of first period, he stopped Hoagie and was askin' 'bout his plans to get the food out of the auditorium. I think he thinks we had something to do with it," Abby said.

"Well, what's so bad about that? It's not like he knows anything for sure, does he?" Wally asked. The tardy bell sounded overhead.

"You didn't see the way he was lookin' at us," Abby shook her head. "It was as if he was-."

"Class has started, and I will not permit interruptions, Abigail!" Abby was startled by the loud smacking of a ruler on her desktop. Miss O'Dell was standing over her and frowning.

"I'm sorry, Miss O'Dell," Abby said.

"Just make sure it doesn't happen again," Miss O'Dell replied gruffly before continuing to the front of the room and standing behind her podium. "Now everyone take out loose-leaf paper and a writing utensil. Now!" The whole class jumped at her sudden loudness and hopped right to the task. As they did this, she pulled up the projector screen to reveal a paragraph on the board. "You each are to write a two thousand word essay on the above topic relating to Ernest Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea." The class sent up a moan of protest.

"But, Miss O'Dell, we haven't even read The Old Man and the Sea!" one boy objected.

"My brother didn't read that until ninth grade!" another girl added.

"Did I ask for a dispute?" Miss O'Dell rejoined loudly, causing every student to shut up. "I said write a two thousand word essay about The Old Man and the Sea. Now get to it. It's due at the end of the period. No extra time will be given. Begin!" Every student immediately put pencil to paper and began writing. They didn't know what they were writing about, but Miss O'Dell was clearly in no mood to be trifled with.

At the end of the period, the students instantly jumped out of their chairs and made a pile on Miss O'Dell's desk with their essays. Immediately thereafter, they dashed from the room. Kuki, Wally, and Abby were the last ones to turn in their papers and were there for Miss O'Dell to glance quickly through. "Kuki! Come here!" Kuki nearly leapt from her skin at the sharp tone in Miss O'Dell's voice but quickly complied.

"Yes, Miss O'Dell?" she asked nervously.

"Is this essay written in blue ink?" Miss O'Dell asked, holding up Kuki's paper.

"Well, yes, Miss O'Dell," Kuki answered uncertainly.

"I'll only accept essays written in pencil or black ink. This earns an F," Miss O'Dell stated succinctly.

"What! But, Miss O'Dell, almost everything else I've done in this class was in blue pen-!"

"Well, then I guess I'll have to go back and change all of them to Fs as well," Miss O'Dell said.

"What! Are you insane!" Wally outburst angrily.

"Zip it, Wallabee, or I'll decide I don't accept pencil either," she responded, holding up his penciled essay.

"Miss O'Dell, you know that ain't fair!" Abby stepped up.

"Well, life's not fair, Abigail!" Miss O'Dell shouted. "Sometimes our teachers don't accept blue ink, sometimes our cars breakdown on the freeway in the middle of traffic, and sometimes the auditorium gets filled to the brim with leftovers!" Miss O'Dell broke down suddenly and buried her face in her arms.

"All I've wanted all these years of teaching is to put on a school play. That's all. I've dreamed of nothing else since being sent home from Broadway. But someone had to go and ruin it for me! Some heartless villain had to stuff the cafeteria full of Salisbury break! It's just not fair!" She wailed helplessly for a few moments before the operatives stepped up and tried to console her.

"It's not all that bad, Miss O'Dell," Abby said.

"Yes, it is, Abigail. Yes, it is," Miss O'Dell sobbed.

"No, the play isn't completely ruined," Kuki said.

"Yeah, you know what they say: The show must go on!" Wally added.

"But how can we have a show with no place to perform? There's no way we'll get that auditorium cleaned up in time for auditions," Miss O'Dell replied, sitting up and sniffling.

"So, what? Who says we have to hold auditions in the auditorium?" Abby asked.

"What do you mean?" Miss O'Dell asked.

"I mean, if the auditorium's not all cleaned up by Friday, why don't we just have the auditions somewhere else?" Abby suggested.

"With all the food in the auditorium, the cafeteria should be pretty clean!" Kuki said.

"Oh, I don't know, kids," Miss O'Dell said, removing her glasses and wiping tears from her eyes. "No one even seems interested in the play, the attacks on the auditorium seem to be a pretty clear indication of that."

"Miss O'Dell, you can't give up on this play," Abby said. "So some… idiots ruined the auditorium. Some kids genuinely want to do this play."

"Like who?"

"Us, silly!" Kuki beamed.

"Yeah, and Nigel and Hoagie and Fanny and Lizzie. We all wanna do it," Wally added. "Not to mention all those other kids on the audition sheet."

"Hoagie's even working on a way to clean up that auditorium," Abby said.

"Really?" Miss O'Dell asked. The three nodded their heads. Miss O'Dell took a tissue from the box on her desk and blew her nose. She slowly stood up and composed herself. "Children… we audition on Friday!" They all sighed in relief and watched her walk to the door. "To the office!"

* * *

To, y'know, get approval for taking over the cafeteria. You know you need the administration's approval for something like that. ...Shut up. Anyway, I'm sorry folks who are reading this, but I probably won't have another chap up for at least another week. It's Hell Week in theater since our play is next weekend. I don't know why, but my writer's block always breaks right before Hell Week or any other time that I get really busy and don't have time to use my sudden inspiration. Tis crap, but tis the way it is. Anyway, R&R and KIT&KIR. Hasta, folks. 


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